Random Thoughts On Life Blog

Welcome. I have noticed that life is often times unusual if not downright strange. These are my thoughts from my window on life.

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By Jon Clayton

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Archive for Motivational

Mar
08

Gaining Perspective Part 5

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Thank you for visiting Random Thoughts On Life. Your comments are welcome. Be an active part of this blog. Thanks! -- Jon Clayton

motorcycle-rideWhen you stop and put things in perspective, though, it can make a big difference. When you work at getting to the core of what your life is all about, you begin to understand that most of those external things you see as necessities are not really necessities at all. Each one of them is merely one way, one way out of many, of expressing a deeper purpose. Even if you did not have your job, even if you could not afford your current lifestyle, you would still be you. You would still have the same driving purpose, and you would most certainly be able to find some other way to express it.

If you’re at the airport waiting to travel to another city and you miss your flight, there will be another flight to eventually take you where you want to go. You may have to experience a little inconvenience, you may have to wait until the next day, you may have to buy another ticket, but you have not forever lost the chance to get where you want to go. It’s important to remember that the flight is not the destination. If you miss the flight you have not lost the destination. There is another way to get there. Even if the airport is closed because of bad weather, you can rent a car and drive to where you want to go. Likewise, your job is not irrevocably tied to your purpose in life. It may be a great way of expressing that purpose, but it is not the only way.

If you feel that you’re working at your job because you have to do it, because you’re somehow forced by fate to be toiling at this particular activity, it can work against you regardless of what happens. With such a negative attitude, when you’re working at the job you resent it and if you were to lose the job you’d be in danger of becoming completely lost.

On the other hand, when you see your job as something you’ve chosen to do, and you understand how you yourself have connected that choice to the things that are truly important to you, it frees you from the resentment. It also frees you from the sense of dependence.

The purpose of your life does not depend on the external things, whatever they may be. It is the other way around. You have connected to those external things precisely because of your purpose, precisely because you have some reason to do so. Those external things are sure to change over time, because that is their nature. But even if you lose them completely, you have not lost your purpose, you have not lost that which is truly important to you. When the day-to-day complexities of life are assaulting you from every direction, it’s important to remember that.

Your perspective plays a vital role in how your life proceeds. Raise your perspective and you raise your effectiveness. Raise your perspective and you improve your ability to live life according to your most treasured values. Raise your perspective, and you’ll find yourself making positive progress in fulfilling those goals and dreams which are truly most important to you.
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Mar
05

Gaining Perspective Part 4

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focusTo gain perspective, get away from the noise and confusion and put yourself in a place where you can hear yourself think, a place where you can spend some quality time and some quantity of time on contemplation. Then turn your thinking to those things that are truly important to you.

You often identify yourself with your job, your age, the community in which you live, the church you attend, the school your child goes to, and other external factors. Yet all these things are not really who you are. They are expressions of who you are. To gain perspective is to understand why you have chosen to live your life in the way you are living it. To gain perspective is to get in touch with the deep, driving purposes which compel you to make the decisions you make. Those are the kinds of things you simply can’t explore when every 30 seconds of your day is rigidly scheduled, when the problems and questions and challenges and tasks are coming at you from all directions. When you do get into a place where you can explore them, such an exercise can add valuable perspective to all you do.

Think about your life and all the good things you have going for you. Certainly you have difficulties. Everyone does. Yet those difficulties, as serious as they may be, are really just aberrations in the overwhelmingly positive and abundant experience of being alive. The fact that you’re able to even recognize them as difficulties means that you must have a positive, abundant background against which to compare them. So set aside the difficulties and focus on appreciating the good and positive things that are too often taken for granted. Consider your family, your faith, your awareness and ability to make things happen, the beauty of the world around you and the opportunities you have to experience it.

Look for the reasons behind the reasons. There is some reason for everything you have chosen to do or to be, and behind that reason is another reason, and a whole string of reasons reaching to your very core. Why do you like to drive your convertible on a sunny day, and what is the why behind that why? Dig deeply enough and you’ll connect with your most treasured purposes.

By so doing, you enable yourself to make some sense of all the confusion and to give a positive, enduring direction to all your efforts. The more deeply you delve into who you are, the more elevated your perspective becomes. Because you begin to understand that all the superficial things, the things which fill life with confusion, anxiety and complexity, are ultimately not all that important. Certainly they are often useful and desirable, but they are not essential. When you realize that you can detach yourself from them, when you understand that you don’t absolutely need all those superficial things, when you stop worrying so much about them, then you can rise above them and see beyond them.

By taking some time to get away from the noise, and using that time to raise your perspective, then when you go back the noise doesn’t seem so noisy, overwhelming or intrusive. You’ll find that you’re able to think and act at a level where you can see your way forward and then make your way forward. You’re giving yourself a lifeboat in which to stand and see over the waves so you’ll know which way to swim in order to get where you want to go.

By gaining perspective on your life you can replace those things you feel you have to do with the things you want to do, with the things you choose to do. Often the activities themselves don’t change. What changes is your relationship to them and your attitude toward them.

As an example, let’s look at the activity of earning a living. Even if you have the best job in the world and are well paid for it, there will be times when you’ll resent having to do it. And if your job and your pay are not so great, then there is even more likelihood for resentment. On top of that, you can feel locked in and trapped by your job because it supports the lifestyle you are living. The money you are earning goes to pay for all those things you see yourself as needing. Eventually you may grow to resent your own lifestyle because it keeps you locked into a job which you resent.

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Mar
03

Gaining Perspective Part 3

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holdIn the last several decades, at an ever-increasing rate, life has become immensely more fast-paced and complex due to an explosion in the amount of information available to the average person. This information explosion has in numerous ways been responsible for dramatic increases in the quality of life for many people. As with any other powerful tool, though, instant information access is best used when used wisely and in moderation.

Those electronic devices which can bring so much complexity and confusion to your life — phones, computers, pagers, televisions, radios — all have a very powerful feature which unfortunately is not fully appreciated or used by the very people who could benefit most from it. The feature is not at all difficult to learn how to use, and in fact it is accessed by use of a simple button or switch which is common to all those devices. The name of this button is a testament to the real power of this feature, because the button is called the POWER button.

Simply by pressing the POWER button you can activate the enormously powerful feature of turning the devices OFF. Imagine spending two hours with no telephone, no computer, no radio, television, CD or MP3 player, no VCR, no DVD, no wristwatch, no PDA. Consider how it would be to go several hours without the latest update from CNN, without knowing the minute-by-minute movements of the NASDAQ Composite Index.

It’s great to have instant access to so much information. Information can be an extremely powerful tool, something which can be leveraged to enormous benefit. Yet it is certainly possible to get too much of a good thing. The fact is, much of what you know about you cannot do anything about, and that leads to a profound sense of frustration. So there is real value in putting all that information into perspective. In fact, putting it into perspective can transform it from being frustrating and anxiety producing into being more powerful and valuable.

The way to put it into perspective is to give yourself time to process it all, to think about what it means for your life, to consider it in light of your most deeply held values and purposes. And that’s not something you can do while it is streaming in unabated.
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Mar
01

Gaining Perspective Part 2

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fountain_mouthThe complexities of modern life often come at you so quickly that all you can do is react to them, and by so doing you allow them to control you. Yet with enough perspective, there is no need to spend all your energy reacting to what is going on around you, and merely staying even. With enough perspective you can move calmly, confidently and effectively in the direction of your most treasured dreams no matter what happens. By gaining more perspective, you can rise above the frustration of living from one crisis to the next, and put your energy into a life that is genuinely and continually fulfilling.

So how do you gain this valuable perspective? Well, something as useful and valuable as increased perspective requires some effort. There is much to be seen from the top of the mountain, and yet there is a substantial climb required to get there. To gain perspective takes commitment. It’s not something that can be acquired in a shrink-wrapped carton at your local department store. It requires your input and your time and your desire to make it happen. Sending someone else to climb the mountain for you may give you some valuable information, but it cannot compare to the rewards to be gained from climbing the mountain yourself.

An important step in gaining perspective is to cut down the noise level so you get in a position where you can hear yourself think. If you’re like most people, there is always so much activity and confusion swirling around you that almost no space is available for real, extended contemplation. Most of your mental energy gets spent reacting to the fast-paced world in which you’re immersed. That can indeed be thrilling and satisfying to a point, yet eventually it turns up empty. Eventually you get to a place where there simply doesn’t seem to be a point to it all, where you keep doing the same things over and over again without ever moving perceptibly forward.
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Feb
10

Gaining Perspective Part 1

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a-little-perspectiveIn the open ocean, away from sight of land, you fall off a small boat into the water. You’re a good swimmer, and are able to begin treading water after a moment or two. But there are six-foot swells in the sea and you can’t see over them to determine where the boat is. Even though you’re only about 25 feet away from the boat and could easily swim that distance very quickly, you don’t know which way to swim.

In such a situation, you would benefit greatly from gaining a little bit more perspective. For example, if you had some sort of a floating platform, such as a lifeboat, you could stand up on it and that would probably get you high enough above the surface of the water to see over the waves and spot the boat. A small amount of extra perspective — five or six feet — would make an enormous difference in your situation.

Now let’s consider a more familiar and more likely scenario — being adrift in the turbulent sea of everyday life. You’re sitting at your desk with 30 unanswered e-mails in your “urgent” folder. The phone on your desk is continually ringing, so much that you can’t even begin to work on your e-mail between calls. The cell phone in your pocket rings and you learn that your child needs to be picked up from school right away because she has a fever. But first you have to go by the post office and mail a stack of bill payments, and then deposit some more money in the bank to cover the checks.

It’s the kind of situation in which you could benefit from gaining some perspective. In this case it is not physical perspective that would help, but mental and spiritual perspective.
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Feb
08

Choosing The Best – Part 4

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Table of contents for Choosing The Best

  1. Choosing The Best – Part 1
  2. Choosing The Best – Part 2
  3. Choosing The Best – Part 3
  4. Choosing The Best – Part 4

Strange Building 4One of the most important considerations when making a choice is to look at how long that choice will continue to influence your life. With some choices, it is clear that the impact will be lifelong. For example, choosing a spouse will have an impact that can easily last for the rest of your life. Choosing a college or a career can have the same long-term impact. Usually, we take such choices seriously and put a lot of thought and consideration into them.

What many people fail to appreciate is that a lot of the choices which are seemingly smaller can also have far-reaching consequences. For example, if you choose to have a high calorie, high fat breakfast, that would seem to be a relatively minor, short-term choice. But if you make that choice every day, it soon becomes a habit. And if you get in the habit of eating high fat, high calorie meals, it can have a negative long-term effect on your health.

A habit is nothing more than a choice which has been “hard-wired” into your life. It is a choice that you consciously make at first, yet soon it becomes a choice that you continue to make without even thinking about it. When a choice becomes a habit, the power of that choice, whether it is positive or negative, is enormously magnified. Eating one doughnut in your lifetime is not going to have much effect on your health. But eating 5,000 doughnuts could have a tremendous negative effect. That is the power of habit. Going for a brisk 45-minute walk just once is a pleasant experience and not much more. When it becomes a daily habit, though, it can add up to walking more than 700 miles a year and can have a significant positive impact on your level of physical fitness.

Small choices, repeated over and over again, become programmed as habits, at which point they take on a life of their own. So in that regard the small choices, whether positive or negative, can be extremely important, and can affect your life far into the future.

When making a choice, look as far ahead as you possibly can. How will this choice affect your life a month from now, a year from now, or five years from now? What would happen if this choice were to become a habit? The more broadly you consider your choices, the more positive and empowering those choices will be.

Another thing to keep in mind when making a choice is that there are usually more choices available to you than are immediately evident. The best choice may not be obvious at first. It can often require some creativity and imagination. To arrive at the best choice for any given situation, it helps immensely when you decide to look at the situation as an opportunity. Even though it may be filled with disappointment and despair, somewhere there is opportunity. When you make the effort to find it, you’re well on your way to crafting the most positive, productive, creative choice for how to proceed.

Even when others tell you that you have no choice, you have a choice. Even when the circumstances seem hopelessly desperate and intractable, you have a choice. From wherever you are, you can always choose to move yourself and your world positively forward. You can always take what is available to you and mold it into an opportunity.

If you depend on chance, you will likely be disappointed. Instead of leaving your life to chance, live your life by choice and make use of every opportunity to choose the very best.
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Feb
05

Choosing The Best – Part 3

Posted by: Jon | Comments (0)

Table of contents for Choosing The Best

  1. Choosing The Best – Part 1
  2. Choosing The Best – Part 2
  3. Choosing The Best – Part 3
  4. Choosing The Best – Part 4

Strange Buildings 3The approval of others does not, in itself, make you any more valuable as a person and does not really add any true value to your life. And the disapproval of others does not take anything away from you unless you let it get to you. Imagine what would happen to your relationships if, instead of seeking to get approval you used your energy to give love and caring and understanding. Imagine how much it would improve your life if you did not have to be concerned about the approval of others. The fact is, you don’t have to be concerned about it. When you move past the need for approval, you can save yourself a lot of time, money and frustration, while at the same time winning the enthusiastic, sincere approval of others in the process.

Stop and think of how much time and energy you spend each day just because you need the approval of others. Now consider all the things you could do, all the value you could create, if you could get beyond that need.

The way to get beyond the need is to look at it as a choice. Seeing it as a choice makes it much more objective and much less imposing. Step back and thoughtfully consider what’s involved in seeking the approval of others. Consider all the costs and consider all the benefits. Are the benefits to be gained worth the price you will pay? That is for you to decide. That is your choice. It is not a need that is imposed upon you. It is a choice that you have decided to make. You can choose whatever you want, but the point is that you can choose. You are not obligated. You are not forced to seek the approval of others. It is not something that has to tie you down or hold you back. It is something you can choose to do or choose not to do, based on the costs you will pay and the value you will receive.

Making a truly valuable and empowering choice is more than just following a whim. Every choice carries with it a set of consequences. So making a choice is not only a matter of choosing what to do at the moment, but also of considering and choosing the consequences that will surely and reliably follow.

Everyone makes choices all the time. Even refusing to make a choice is itself a choice, a choice not to decide. There are choices which lead to a life of success and fulfillment, and there are choices which lead to a life of despair. There are choices that don’t really make much difference one way or the other. There are choices that look foolish in the short term, and turn out to be very smart in the long run. And there are choices that seem to be right for the moment, but end up being wrong in the long term.

Choices are indeed very powerful, and the best way to treat them is with the respect they deserve. The more carefully and intentionally you make your choices, the more positively those choices will serve your best interests.
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